I recently pulled out some of my binders of writings from my late teens and twenties. As I have mentioned before, full of teenage angst and frustration. I did find the following, however, to be quite intriguing. Perhaps it set the tone for my future connectivity (or lack thereof) with dedication to employment. (I wrote the following at the age of 18. I had a summer job in the Canadian north doing mineral exploration.)
When working up here you are not learning a living in the generally believed meaning of the phrase, you are prostituting yourself to a cause alien to yourself. This is all the more evident in that although you are living in the land of wide open spaces, you are actually ina prison like atmosphere since your lines of communication with reality are almost completely severed. It is not so much loneliness but a feeling of frustration at your inability to be a meaningful influence on your environment.
June 10, 1969, Stag Lake, Manitoba.
One of my biggest regrets is that I have not been able to find a sense of vocation in my employment. Rarely has it been a source a satisfaction, feeling instead far more like a weight than something that inspires me. Oh yes, there have been moments of "inspiration" at various times, but they have been surrounded by a sense of so much drudgery and desire to be doing something else.
2 comments:
Hey Leo,
I'm inviting you to a conversation at http://sensiblesimplicity.lefora.com/forum/. We're in Hawaii, but in many ways becoming a test bed for meaningful progress to the kind of thinking you espouse. I'd invite your input, if you've time, as I'd enjoy perspectives from all over the world.
Thanks!
Jay
Your not here to work Leo your here to learn. Often people have strong bonds to their profession, you should consider yourself lucky to have not fallen into that trap. I sense you are searching for something, do you know what it is? Do you know who you are?
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